Ignoring the Elephant in the Room

This week we talked about myths about conflict in small groups, and I instantly connected with myth number one: in group discussions, conflict should be avoided at all costs.

This reminded me of a girl I know (who, thankfully, we'll leave anonymous. She doesn't even go to Purdue) always diverted from conflict in our group meetings. Sadly, she wasn't skilled in resolving conflict or moving forward from it, but instead just avoided it all together. Frankly, it was really annoying. As the book states, conflict was a natural byproduct of our conversation every so often, and was necessary at times in order to move the project forward and get things done. And it really felt unnatural and counterproductive to steer away from the subjects that could stir up conflicting beliefs or ideals. It was like trying to avoid a giant elephant hanging out in the corner of the room. Clearly there is an elephant there, just because you don't reference it doesn't mean others can't see it.

In lieu of this past experience, I have a different outlook on conflict and its resolution. First of all, do not be afraid to walk into a situation that could involve conflict. Second of all, don't just avoid the issue--there are times that conflict must be dealt with in order to move forward. Although, that doesn't mean you need to create conflict or that it's ok to conflict all the time. Just don't ignore that elephant.

-Ellen Rohlfing